Because when I pray, it looks like this:
*thinking, “Remember: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication…”*
“Um, God, You’re really great. Yeah. You made everything in the universe, which is pretty amazing… You must be really smart. Man, I can’t even conceive everything that in in Your head. That’s pretty great.
“Also, I’ve sinned a lot; You know, you see everything I do. I did bad thing x and bad thing y, and now I’m feeling completely depressed by my overwhelming sinfulness, because I know that You hate sin, so every time I sin (which is like all the time) I’m really ticking you off. So please have mercy, have mercy, have mercy, have mercy, etc.
“Um, thank You for everything, like the world and food to eat and a place to live, and indoor plumbing, and antibiotics, and the printing press… Wouldn’t have anything at all if it weren’t for You! So, you know, thanks.
“I don’t really need anything that seems worth taking Your time about… I’m sure there are lots of people with real troubles, like being beheaded by ISIS, who really need Your help right now. So I think I’m good for now, except now I feel guilty that I didn’t pray for the people being beheaded by ISIS. So please help them, Lord.
“Um, I think that’s everything. Amen.”
And this is how the Catholic Church prays:
O God, we praise Thee, and acknowledge Thee to be the supreme Lord.
Everlasting Father, all the earth worships Thee.
All the Angels, the heavens and all angelic powers,
All the Cherubim and Seraphim, continuously cry to Thee:
Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God of Hosts!
Heaven and earth are full of the Majesty of Thy glory.
The glorious choir of the Apostles,
The wonderful company of Prophets,
The white-robed army of Martyrs, praise Thee.
Holy Church throughout the world acknowledges Thee:
The Father of infinite Majesty;
Thy adorable, true and only Son;
Also the Holy Spirit, the Comforter.
O Christ, Thou art the King of glory!
Thou art the everlasting Son of the Father.
When Thou tookest it upon Thyself to deliver man,
Thou didst not disdain the Virgin’s womb.
Having overcome the sting of death, Thou opened the Kingdom of Heaven to all
Thou sitest at the right hand of God in the glory of the Father.
We believe that Thou willst come to be our Judge.
We, therefore, beg Thee to help Thy servants whom Thou hast redeemed with Thy
Let them be numbered with Thy Saints in everlasting glory.
V. Save Thy people, O Lord, and bless Thy inheritance!
R. Govern them, and raise them up forever.
V. Every day we thank Thee.
R. And we praise Thy Name forever, yes, forever and ever.
V. O Lord, deign to keep us from sin this day.
R. Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us.
V. Let Thy mercy, O Lord, be upon us, for we have hoped in Thee.
R. O Lord, in Thee I have put my trust; let me never be put to shame.